Is Your Life Situation Is Exactly How You’ve Painted It?

Agreeing with the statement above means that every major part of your life has gone according to plan.  It means that you have the family that you have always desired, your career is right on course, and that you are at peace with your life.  Even if there are still things you desire, you are confident that they are on their way.  There are no major worries in your life.  If this is your situation then you are not pondering your past, nor are you worried about your future, you are centered in the present moment.

If the opposite is true, that is; if you totally disagree with the title, then I challenge you to reflect on why your situation is how it is.  The main problem is that we are always thinking and desiring things unintentionally.  Let me repeat that statement because this is very important: we are always thinking and desiring things unintentionally.  We are like a ship without a crew in a turbulent ocean.  The waves and the wind dictate where we go, because we are tied up against the ship’s mast, wearing a veil on our eyes.  And the worst part is that we have tied and veiled ourselves, no one else is to blame.

Have you ever noticed how your mind rambles on and on and sometimes incessantly?  Why is that?  Our ultimate goal should be to go beyond thinking, beyond the mind (see our Highest Goal article), or at least let’s take control of our thoughts and desires.  We can start by taking the veil from our eyes, and at least noticing where our ship is taking us.  We need to notice our rambling mind.  Pay attention to your mind and your thoughts.  What do you think about and when?  Sometimes we will be having a perfect day, however, the sneaky thoughts creep their way to front and center, thinking about doubts and how everything can come crashing down any moment.  Other times these thoughts are triggered by listening to others and their thoughts.  Just like in the “wallowing” article, we attract and are attracted to others who share our thinking, especially negative thinking.  So start noticing your thoughts, pay attention to them, don’t be unconscious letting the thoughts go on an on.  Write them down if you need to, this will definitely make you notice your thinking.

The next step is to start thinking intentionally about what it is you want.  Before a ship can take off, the captain and the crew must decide where they want to go, or maybe where they need to go, and also how to get there.  In the same way we need to decide where we want to go.  We have to know what we want.  What do you want? It seems like a simple question, and a lot of us might answer that all we want is more money.  However, give this simple step its due amount of time.  Ask yourself what it is you want.  If you are having trouble then start by telling yourself that you want to know what you want.  A very simple statement, “I want to know what it is that I want.”  Say it to yourself as often as you can, but also be very alert!  The clues will start coming to you very quickly.  Another way to find out what you truly want is to break it down into sections or categories.  Decide what you want as far as your family or love life goes; decide on what you want for your career, for your friendships, for your material desires, for your health and any other category you can think of.  If you already know what you want then please think about what you want as much as you can, without disrupting your productivity or your relationships.  Start taking control of your ship right now; don’t let the external world dictate how you feel inside.  Decide where you want to go and how you’re going to get there.  Writing down your desires is very important.  It seems when you write things down, you give them more attention.  Attention is the key, or better yet, intentional attention is the key.

After you have written down your desires, it is very important that you read your paragraph, or paragraphs everyday, especially in the morning and at night before you go to sleep.  It is also very, very important that you add this statement or a similar statement to the beginning of your paragraph: “In an easy and relaxed manner, in a healthy and positive way, for the benefit of all, I want…”  This is because you want to achieve your goals in a positive way.  For example, I once read a story about a woman that wanted a certain type of vehicle; I think it was the latest model VW Beetle of a specific color.  So she kept thinking about it, and how it would feel to get on it for the first time and drive it, and she visualized herself in it.  And within a short time after she began the exercise she had an automobile accident, and guess what type of vehicle she got into an accident with?  You guessed it, a VW Beetle, and the exact color she was thinking of.  So be careful and think about your desires in a positive way.

Another powerful exercise that you must do is one I first read about in Stephen R. Covey’s (may he rest in peace) The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.  It’s at the beginning of the “Begin With The End In Mind” chapter.  This will also put your paragraph to the test, it will let you know if things you desire are in line with how you want your life to be.  To do this exercise please make time to be alone, free of distractions, and to especially be free of anticipating something you have to do afterwards.  Try to have a clear mind, and maybe do some physical exercise so that are relaxed.  Have a writing method ready, whether a pen and paper, or your pc.  Imagine now that someone very close to you has passed, and you are now on your way to their funeral.  As you are driving there, you are thinking about their life, about their struggles, and triumphs, about that person’s family and friends.  You arrive at the funeral home and as you make your way to pay your respects, you see all the person’s loved ones.  You see their family and friends. And you see them grieving.  Now imagine that when you arrive to their casket you notice that the person that has died is you.  And all the people there are your loved ones.  There is a program handed out with all the people scheduled to speak at your funeral.  You notice that your husband, wife or, partner (if you don’t a have husband, wife or, partner imagine that you do) are scheduled to speak, as well as your best friend, a community spokesperson (from your school, or church), and also someone from your job is going to speak.  Now imagine what each of them would say about you if you died now.  And also very important, besides thinking about what they would say now, imagine what you would like them to say.  Think about it and start writing.

This exercise really puts in perspective what’s important in your life and what is not.  It is a peek into your true self and what matters to you.  Compare your list to what you wrote down and notice the connections or lack of connections.  And maybe edit your paragraph accordingly.

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  1. Pingback: Is Your Life Situation Exactly How You’ve Painted It? | freeselfhelpforyou

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